While my mother-in-law is hanging out with my daughter today, I may or may not be taking the opportunity to plant myself on the couch and watch mind-numbing drivel on Netflix. (For example, maybe the TLC show Toddlers & Tiaras?)
In my defense, I'm very busy letting my washer clean a load of clothes at the same time...
Anyway, one episode is featuring a self-identified "conservative Christian" woman, who believes God has blessed her with the chance to enter her 5-year-old step-daughter in beauty pageants. (In fact, she says when she found out the girl was five, that's how she knew she was meant to marry the girl's dad.)
In my last post, I suggested the Church has really skewed the definition of the word "blessed." But, even if you disagree, I hope we will find common ground this time, regarding the questionable things said by this lady about prayer. To my fellow conservative Christian women, this is how we are being represented on national television.
Little Girl: "God, I pray I do very well on my talent and on my beauty walks."
Mom: "...I pray that You will bless and anoint Saryniti..."
Mom: (to camera) "My name is Ca'Trina, and I have faith that my daughter Saryniti is going to win her first glitz pageant ever."
No, I'm not making this up. Keep reading, if you dare.
Ca'Trina: "...I pray about every single outfit she puts on." (To Saryniti:) "All that prayer is starting to kick in! Look at you go!"
(To Camera:) "Through hours and hours of prayer, the Lord is telling me that this is okay and that He is welcoming pageants into our lives."
Later, at the beauty salon...
"I had to pray really hard about [giving my daughter] the spray tan. I'm still not exactly comfortable, but I think God's going to hold my hand through it."
Oh, dear. Where to start? We agree she sounds completely ridiculous, right? But can anyone help me pin-point exactly what's wrong with the theological belief here? I mean, the Bible says to pray about everything...
Meanwhile, can we just whip out the Cutesy Christian Motto "I prayed about it" and justify everything we want to do? What if we use a related motto: "I have a great peace" or "God told me to ______" Are these statements ever good enough reasons to continue on a certain path?
Personally, I don't think this lady sounds crazy just because she's talking about a beauty pageant. If her theology is flawed, then we are all equally crazy to use the same methods, even with "bigger" situations.
Most of us have sounded exactly like her in the past--but we were talking about moving to a new city. ("I'm at peace.") Or we were making a career change. ("God has called me.") I'm pretty sure non-Christians are just as skeptical when we make these statements as we are of Ca'Trina...and I think they have good reason. They raise their eyebrows, give a little snort, and ask, "God told you that, huh?"
And, well, did He really?
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As a side note, if you're interested in seeing the clips from the show, you can jump to this write-up from Jezebel.com. It's the same internet tabloid I criticized some months ago for their race-baiting article about the Hunger Games fans. But, this time, their headline is, "Jesus Does Not Give a Crap About Your Kid's Glitzy Pageant."--and, as much as it pains me, I think I agree with that statement.
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Side Note #2 I should mention that Saryniti only got the thanks-for-competing crown, despite her step-mom "praying over every single second she's up there."
Hmm... Well, I would say that anything we sense God telling us should be tested against the Bible. If it doesn't go with the values and morals God shows us there, it's probably not something He's saying to do.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't know how I would draw the line on things like moving or changing jobs. I do believe that God guides us to make certain decisions and it won't always be with a flashing signal. It will be with the quiet nudging of the Holy Spirit a lot of times. It's frustratingly undefinable, but it's there.
When I joined GFA, I could point to reasons why doing so would be good (national missionaries, spreading the Gospel), but... I went because I felt God convicting me to go.
It seems like you have more thoughts on the issue, so you should probably share them.
I would add, that even though our unsaved friends raise their eyebrows at our logic, we have to remember that they see a different reality than we do. While they think it's all in our heads, we know that we have communion with God. We shouldn't fear that. We just need to be wise, and be sure it's *God's* voice we're hearing.
I don't really have conclusive thoughts, unfortunately... My questions keep leading me to the place you arrived: God's guidance is frustratingly undefinable.
ReplyDeleteBut I do think we overuse the phrase "I've been called" and its equivalents. They become convenient ways to make ourselves feel more secure with our decisions and to silence critics. And, even worse, I don't think we do it consciously.
Humans simply don't like being in limbo, so we become hyper-sensitive to "signs" and "voices" when we have a critical choice to make. Also, the nervousness of being at a crossroads makes it harder to use the wisdom you mentioned.
So, it's not surprising that Christians often tune into their own voices instead of God's, but it *is* hard to fix. And it drives me crazy that our friend Ca'Trina probably tells herself what you said in the last paragraph: "All my critics just don't understand the kind of relationship I have with God...I KNOW it's His voice telling me to use fake nails on my kindergartener."
Yeah, I think you're right about not liking limbo. It takes a lot of faith just wait on the Lord--or to say, "I'm not really sure what God wants at this point, but I'm going to trust Him that if I seek to live my life in a way that honors *Him*, He will guide me whether I see it or not."
DeleteAs far as Ca'Trina goes... I think that goes back to what your critics are saying and if it's in line with the Bible. A lot of missionaries have gone forward with no support from their home church, but they knew God had commissioned them to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth, so they followed God rather than man.
At the same time, there are people who have been counseled to not go into missions and it's because their mentors saw an unwillingness to submit to leadership or a lack of fruitfulness in evangelism or... whatnot.
I guess the frustrating thing about this conversation is... how do you ever convince someone like Ca'Trina that she's not in the noble, misunderstood, first group? Will someone like her ever think that deeply about it?
There is so much truth to that. I've witnessed firsthand a woman justify divorce because "God told her" then remarry in a rush because "God told her" and ultimately leave her second husband only to enter a third marriage because, well, that's just what the Lord was leading her to do. You also hit the nail on the head when you said it's hard to deal with this issue head on. Said woman actually considers herself a martyr and is deeply hurt that anyone would paint her in a negative light. Anyone who disagrees or questions her decisions is chalked up as part of Matthew 10:35. Just a perfect example of why a solid understanding of ALL of scripture is vital, as well as seeking wisdom in the council of many and asking the Holy Spirit for discernment.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lauren! I almost forgot about the "council of many" principle... I think God included that in Scripture to combat the irrationality that usually comes with uncertainty. Talk to people who aren't so emotionally involved in the decision!
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