Keeping my Mouth Closed

Since I started this blog, I've never missed an entire month of posting before.  Part of me will be irritated forever by the fact that August 2012 is missing from my blog archive! But, I needed to stop preaching about what God wants "all of us" to do, long enough to discover what He wanted from me.  

His theme the last few weeks has been: Close Your Mouth!

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You've heard of the proverbial Negative Nancy?  Well, (*waves hand*) here I am. And I have more than 150 posts on this blog to condemn me.  Not everything I've shared has been doom and gloom. But my words are unpleasant often enough that I admitted recently: I Stink.

Then, I found an article which got me wondering, "Am I really helping myself and others here? Or am I just allowing my tongue to go unchecked?" When I say/write things in anger, am I preaching or venting...and what does the Bible say about it?

Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, author of this post, shares the following story:
 A couple weeks ago, I found myself in a depressing cycle. It started with dissatisfaction with a certain relationship... Disappointment led to anger, which led to grumpiness. Feeling the need to "process," I vented my frustration to my exercise buddy [which] caused my self-righteousness to rise and made me even grumpier. Over the next few days, I stewed over the situation and "vented" to several other people. [Eventually] I found myself not only being frustrated with the initial relationship but being critical of others as well. Soon it seemed as if everyone was letting me down. My dissatisfaction grew until I reached a breaking point... Instead of helping my situation, venting had blown it out of proportion.

I resonate with this example whole-hardheartedly.
At first, writing a piece with a negative spin feels relieving--as if I got something off my chest.  (Or, as I like to believe, I've "spoken the words of the Lord.")

But, once I start noticing what's wrong with the culture, the Church, the WORLD, it's hard to find anything good. 

Miss Gosselin closes with this paragraph:
I'm learning that as a fallen human being, my tendency is to complain. But my goal is to have the attitude of Christ, rich in contentment, love and humility. That will require keeping the vent closed. After all, Jesus has given so much for me. I really can't complain.

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Thus, that's what I've been doing this month... learning to focus on the happy side of things instead of running to the computer with a list of problems needing fixed.  And, what do you know, removing the "vent" hasn't caused me to implode.  In fact, God has provided me with several extremely satisfying opportunities to use my gift of teaching, through my volunteer times at the pregnancy center.

Wow, that last sentence was so very consistent with new, positive frame of mind that I'm going to say it again:  I  loooove counseling young women at the pregnancy center. God has allowed me to interact with many girls who actually ask for my help. And the lift my spirit gets from being with them is starkly different from the sense of burden I often felt after unleashing Negative Nancy on this blog.

Now I understand better why Proverbs 10:19 says: "When words are many, sin is not absent. But he who holds his tongue is wise." If I can't be sure that every, single word is "helpful for building others up"and "benefits those who listen," I'd just as soon keep my mouth shut.

Osteen vs. Washer

Just a video today, Kiddies.

Despite the title, this isn't about who wins some preaching competition. These are contrasting philosophies, both claiming to be Christian and fundamentally disagreeing.

 Some say Osteen and Washer simply use different packaging. But don't be fooled. Today's Christians must choose between the feel-goodies of "self esteem" and cold-water Truth.

Wills Clash, Tears Fall

My (15-month-old) daughter doesn't plan to sleep past 5:00am anymore. For over a week, she has woken well before the sun--disoriented and cranky--but demanding to get out of her bed.  (She actually signs "help.")

If she acts ill or we're staying in a strange place, I nurse her until she calms down.  But, I don't want to make a habit of early waking. 

So, I decided last night she needed to sleep 10 hours before she could get up; then I crossed my fingers she wouldn't test me.  She began fussing at 5:00, on the dot. 

At 6:00, while my toddler alternated between angry shrieks and pathetic wails, I updated my Facebook status: 

"I'm sorry, Little One. But you haven't slept properly for almost ten days now, and there will be no bending to your demands this morning...
I tucked you back in and closed the nursery door--so you might think you're alone. But, I'm still here, listening to every sob.
Yours isn't the only broken heart.
(I feel there's a metaphor here somewhere.)"

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Later today, (after baby gave in to a couple more hours of sleep) I found a blog post which nicely packages the metaphor to which I referred.    What Breaks God's Heart? Disobedient Children.   

I know we don't think of babies as "disobeying" when they cry. But, consider the author's definition.

Kids disobey when they believe themselves wiser than their parents.  They think their plan makes more sense than their mother's. They like their way better than their father's.  If the child's tears come from losing a battle-of-wills with Mom and Dad, it's disobedience...

But, it hurts Mom and Dad, too.  

We don't want to see our babies suffer. I would prefer to explain the physical necessity of rest to my baby and have her just trust me. But, she only learned to say her own name two days ago. She doesn't understand. 

As she cried, I told her, "it will be okay." 

I said, "You need to sleep."  

And I whispered "I love you." Multiple times.   

But she doesn't understand.    

Thus, I could do nothing but wait nearby, aware of (and hating) every tear...

...and to rejoice in the fact that someday she will know what I know.

(P.S.  Another excellent article: When God is Silent)

To Dunk or Not to Dunk?

When Luke and I first started dating, there were several doctrinal differences we needed to address.

Early on, a book by Charles Capps sparked a memorable argument.  Also, Luke's background in the pentecostal church demanded a frank discussion about the Word-Faith movement.

But, it was my church which placed a heavy emphasis on baptism.  For all my conservative upbringing, I've discovered those (like me) who "dunk" new converts actually represent the radical side of this particular Church controversy...

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What does the Bible say about baptism? This author calls it the elephant in the room; but he goes on to discuss his views in a refreshingly simple way. I agree with him all around.

I like this line, because I think all of us can agree to start here: "Sometimes what we think makes sense needs to be less important to us than what scripture says - even if we think our way is better."

So, what do you make of all the scriptures referring to baptism, dear reader?

Playing With Paint

The last time I goofed around with Paint, I illustrated my post about how sweet Luke was during the early stages of my pregnancy.


Here's what came of playtime today.  (Don't judge my graphic art skills!!!!)  :)

If this offends you (or if you're just plain confused), check out this post I wrote last December for an explanation. ("Christian Oppression")


...And here's the other way I suggested altering this chart...

Miss Nagy Didn't Throw Away Her Childhood

I just read this piece by Stephen Crowder in which he defends people who marry young because Jennifer Nagy of the Huffington post argued "people shouldn't be allowed" to marry before age 25..

As a side note, I absolutely love Miss Nagy's conclusion..."Maybe there are 20-year-olds who get married and stay madly in love for their whole lives...  Maybe there is such a thing as fairies and unicorns, too."  

(It cracks me up because people have used this "powerful argument" with me. Check out the comments section here.  The 11th comment from the top is the pertinent one.)

(Other side note:  how do people who reason this way get paid to write?!  I'm over here, Big Magazine! Unicorns, unicorns, unicorns! See? Talent!)

Anyway,  I conclude Miss Nagy didn't "Throw away her childhood," the way Luke and I did--or the way any person must do before they get married.   But is 25 the special age? Do you agree with Nagy or with Crowder?

Come As You Are

Each week, I have the privileged of meeting with three or four young women individually, to discuss their relationships, spiritual lives, and future goals.   Unfortunately, after several months of these one-on-one interviews, I've noticed a discouraging pattern...

Probably 9 out of 10 will tell me they "believe in God and believe the Bible is true," and there's "nothing" they'd really like to change about their relationship with the Creator.  But, when I ask whether their premarital sex affects this faith, they make a speech like this:

"Oh, I've heard it's a sin. But nobody is perfect; I always ask God to forgive me afterward." 

I'll remind them: "When I asked if there's anything you'd like to change, you said 'no.'"

"I wasn't thinking about that," they'll say. "...The important thing is God loves me the way I am."

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It upsets me just a little more every time I have this conversation, but I don't blame the girls solely.

Yes, they are using grace as a License to Sin, which Paul warned against (Romans 6:1,2) But I think the Church is responsible for the lax attitude toward breaking the Law. For years, we have over-emphasized "acceptance" and downplayed the importance of being holy.

Hasn't everybody in America heard that God is quick to forgive and expresses infinite mercy? Can't almost all of us quote John 3:16; God loved the world so much that whoever believes has permission to do whatever they want?   (Or something like that?)   :)

Of course everyone knows God likes and dislikes certain things. But we'd rather focus on how nice He is when we mess up. We like sharing the good news, "come as you are," as if our streets are lined with shame-filled sinners who've never heard it and keep flogging their own backs in penitence.

I'd love to concentrate on the happy message:  "Hey, poor pitiful souls, stop beating yourself up! God loves you already!" It feels good to reassure someone they don't have to feel guilty anymore.

But I've met very few who feel guilty.

In fact, when asked directly, our first thought tends to be, "I have nothing to change."

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This week, I created a list of Scriptures which may ring less familiar than John 3:16.

For example, Revelation 3:16 says half-commitment to God makes Him want to vomit. He'd rather we disown him completely than use His name and keep living in sin.

Also, James 2:17 says, "Faith, when not accompanied by action, is dead." There must be fruit--some kind of evidence we've met Jesus...or our so-called faith is useless. And brace yourself for verse 19: "You believe there is one God? Good! Even the demons believe that!"

In the future, I'd like to share some of these truths with my Bible-believing clients because history shows they aren't hearing it elsewhere. For every spineless, rose-colored church organization that teaches nothing but "God loves you," there must be someone brave enough to share the other half of the truth: He loves you too much to let you wreck yourself with sin.

Yes, come as you are. But you cannot stay that way.