While my mother-in-law is hanging out with my daughter today, I may or may not be taking the opportunity to plant myself on the couch and watch mind-numbing drivel on Netflix. (For example, maybe the TLC show Toddlers & Tiaras?)
In my defense, I'm very busy letting my washer clean a load of clothes at the same time...
Anyway, one episode is featuring a self-identified "conservative Christian" woman, who believes God has blessed her with the chance to enter her 5-year-old step-daughter in beauty pageants. (In fact, she says when she found out the girl was five, that's how she knew she was meant to marry the girl's dad.)
In my last post, I suggested the Church has really skewed the definition of the word "blessed." But, even if you disagree, I hope we will find common ground this time, regarding the questionable things said by this lady about prayer. To my fellow conservative Christian women, this is how we are being represented on national television.
Little Girl: "God, I pray I do very well on my talent and on my beauty walks."
Mom: "...I pray that You will bless and anoint Saryniti..."
Mom: (to camera) "My name is Ca'Trina, and I have faith that my daughter Saryniti is going to win her first glitz pageant ever."
No, I'm not making this up. Keep reading, if you dare.
Ca'Trina: "...I pray about every single outfit she puts on." (To Saryniti:) "All that prayer is starting to kick in! Look at you go!"
(To Camera:) "Through hours and hours of prayer, the Lord is telling me that this is okay and that He is welcoming pageants into our lives."
Later, at the beauty salon...
"I had to pray really hard about [giving my daughter] the spray tan. I'm still not exactly comfortable, but I think God's going to hold my hand through it."
Oh, dear. Where to start? We agree she sounds completely ridiculous, right? But can anyone help me pin-point exactly what's wrong with the theological belief here? I mean, the Bible says to pray about everything...
Meanwhile, can we just whip out the Cutesy Christian Motto "I prayed about it" and justify everything we want to do? What if we use a related motto: "I have a great peace" or "God told me to ______" Are these statements ever good enough reasons to continue on a certain path?
Personally, I don't think this lady sounds crazy just because she's talking about a beauty pageant. If her theology is flawed, then we are all equally crazy to use the same methods, even with "bigger" situations.
Most of us have sounded exactly like her in the past--but we were talking about moving to a new city. ("I'm at peace.") Or we were making a career change. ("God has called me.") I'm pretty sure non-Christians are just as skeptical when we make these statements as we are of Ca'Trina...and I think they have good reason. They raise their eyebrows, give a little snort, and ask, "God told you that, huh?"
And, well, did He really?
-----
As a side note, if you're interested in seeing the clips from the show, you can jump to this write-up from Jezebel.com. It's the same internet tabloid I criticized some months ago for their race-baiting article about the Hunger Games fans. But, this time, their headline is, "Jesus Does Not Give a Crap About Your Kid's Glitzy Pageant."--and, as much as it pains me, I think I agree with that statement.
-----
Side Note #2 I should mention that Saryniti only got the thanks-for-competing crown, despite her step-mom "praying over every single second she's up there."
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Cutesy Christian Motto #1, God Wants to Bless You
Yesterday, I indulged in a Facebook tirade regarding the dumbing-down of the Church. It used to boast the most educated people in the world. Back when the average man was illiterate and spent all day trying to feed his family with his small, private farm, there wasn't any time to memorize history, observe the stars, or sit and meditate on the Truths of Scripture.
By contrast, members of the Clergy were given the rare opportunity to stretch their minds, and they took their jobs as scholars very seriously.
But, today, most Christians are no more familiar with the precepts of Scripture than their ancestors who couldn't read. We are content with slogans and churchy sayings, which offer just enough truth to whet our pallet--while our souls shrivel from malnourishment.
As I said yesterday, we have a form of godliness, but our version of Christianity boils down to several cutesy, Christian mottoes, which often contradict each other...and Scripture.
------
"God looks at the heart." "Don't hurt your testimony!" "I've been given a vision." "I'm loved just the way I am." "I'm under attack." (Which gives people with the "gift of encouragement" a chance to say: "All things work together for good!") "We need to reach people for Jesus," which becomes even more popular during costly expansion projects. etc. etc.
If we've heard these statements launched from a pulpit, we don't even care what the context is. He's a preacher, so it must be Gospel truth. Plus, the catchphrases are easier to manage and much less likely to choke us than Scripture that hasn't been pre-chewed for us.
So we use them to build our entire theology.
But how many Christians even know where to find the Big Kid version of these cliches in the Bible? For as much as we quote them--do we even consider what we mean by them?
----
Today, I'm putting one Cutesy Christian Motto under the microscope, and I may tackle a few more in the future. Let's ask ourselves, what do we mean when we say "God bless ____"
First, a true story. When I was born, my Grandpa Bob purchased a savings bond for each of my birthdays and Christmases until I was 18 years old. That's 36 bonds! He reasoned they would be mature by the time I went to college, and education was very important to him.
You may think, "Wow, that's a really nice gift!"--and you're right. But can you imagine my reaction as a small child, getting an envelope every time I saw him?
"Hmmm...I wonder what this is. Oh, wow! Another yellow piece of paper with a face on it. Gee, thanks." (*goes back to playing with the good presents.*)
My mom really tried explaining that I would appreciate it when I was older. But a child's definition of "valuable" is much different from an adult's. I just didn't understand.
----
Jump back to Christians asking God to "bless them"--and even saying "God wants to bless us"--presumably referring to Matthew 7:9-11. "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
And those verses mean, of course, that God wants to give me gifts! Good gifts! ...Right?
But what if God's definition of a "blessing" is different from ours? What if God's gifts are good, yet often disappointing like a savings bond to a 10-year-old?
Want some reason to adopt my theory? Jesus talks about blessings in a chunk of his Sermon on the Mount, and He says blessed are the poor in spirit...blessed are those who mourn...blessed are you, when you get insulted.
I doubt these are what we have in mind, when we pray for a "blessed day."
Also, I think a better understanding of the term "blessing" would help us make more sense of things when faced with real, character-testing trials. So many Christians expect God to shower them with "good gifts," or to at least protect them from harm. Then they find themselves in heart-wrenching trouble, and no amount of pleading for help seems to work. What gives?
If we only prepare for the human definition of "blessings"--what do we tell the lady whose cancer has returned for the third time? She's not praying right? God doesn't want to bless her? When we're just waiting for God to throw open the storehouses of Heaven in our favor, what do we tell the mothers who sent their kindergarteners off to school and never saw them alive again?...
"The storehouse door is jammed."
"Think positive."
"You're just under attack at the moment...but get ready for a blessing!"
No. These sound ridiculous because they are hollowed-out versions of God's Word. And if your beliefs about God don't hold up when tragedy strikes--if they're only true sometimes--then they aren't true at all.
We prepare ourselves for "God-sized" blessings, and then get shocked when there's no pony under the tree. Not to mention, we must actively ignore the Scriptures where Paul, Peter, and James warn us to expect suffering and rejoice over it. We've forgotten His ways are not our own...
Look, I realize this is a complicated subject, and I don't mean to imply I've arrived at total understanding. But, I'm saying, we can't stand on the motto "God wants to bless us" insofar as it means "God wants to put a smile on our faces" because that theology doesn't stand up to real life. We have to find a way to reconcile all of the Scriptures together, instead of clinging to the snippets that make us feel good for a moment.
I think we need a grown-up definition of "blessing"...one that recognizes we're blessed to have a God who works tirelessly to make us holy. When we tell ourselves His first priority is our happiness, then suffering makes no sense. If we tell ourselves we just have to be patient and think positive because the good stuff is right around the corner, we're sunk when the corner never comes. What if we never get the stuff we want? Is God still good? Did He forget to bless us?
Or is it possible the trials and sufferings are themselves the blessing we request so often without thinking?
(Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ ...you are blessed. --From 1 Peter 4)
----
Do you agree that "God wants to bless us" is an example of oversimplified, paper-thin doctrine that tends to crumble under scrutiny? Can you think of other Christianese sayings which send a thrill through the congregation on Sunday morning, but prove ambiguous (or even completely *wrong*) when tested in real life?
By contrast, members of the Clergy were given the rare opportunity to stretch their minds, and they took their jobs as scholars very seriously.
But, today, most Christians are no more familiar with the precepts of Scripture than their ancestors who couldn't read. We are content with slogans and churchy sayings, which offer just enough truth to whet our pallet--while our souls shrivel from malnourishment.
As I said yesterday, we have a form of godliness, but our version of Christianity boils down to several cutesy, Christian mottoes, which often contradict each other...and Scripture.
------
"God looks at the heart." "Don't hurt your testimony!" "I've been given a vision." "I'm loved just the way I am." "I'm under attack." (Which gives people with the "gift of encouragement" a chance to say: "All things work together for good!") "We need to reach people for Jesus," which becomes even more popular during costly expansion projects. etc. etc.
If we've heard these statements launched from a pulpit, we don't even care what the context is. He's a preacher, so it must be Gospel truth. Plus, the catchphrases are easier to manage and much less likely to choke us than Scripture that hasn't been pre-chewed for us.
So we use them to build our entire theology.
But how many Christians even know where to find the Big Kid version of these cliches in the Bible? For as much as we quote them--do we even consider what we mean by them?
----
Today, I'm putting one Cutesy Christian Motto under the microscope, and I may tackle a few more in the future. Let's ask ourselves, what do we mean when we say "God bless ____"
First, a true story. When I was born, my Grandpa Bob purchased a savings bond for each of my birthdays and Christmases until I was 18 years old. That's 36 bonds! He reasoned they would be mature by the time I went to college, and education was very important to him.
You may think, "Wow, that's a really nice gift!"--and you're right. But can you imagine my reaction as a small child, getting an envelope every time I saw him?
"Hmmm...I wonder what this is. Oh, wow! Another yellow piece of paper with a face on it. Gee, thanks." (*goes back to playing with the good presents.*)
My mom really tried explaining that I would appreciate it when I was older. But a child's definition of "valuable" is much different from an adult's. I just didn't understand.
----
Jump back to Christians asking God to "bless them"--and even saying "God wants to bless us"--presumably referring to Matthew 7:9-11. "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"
And those verses mean, of course, that God wants to give me gifts! Good gifts! ...Right?
But what if God's definition of a "blessing" is different from ours? What if God's gifts are good, yet often disappointing like a savings bond to a 10-year-old?
Want some reason to adopt my theory? Jesus talks about blessings in a chunk of his Sermon on the Mount, and He says blessed are the poor in spirit...blessed are those who mourn...blessed are you, when you get insulted.
I doubt these are what we have in mind, when we pray for a "blessed day."
Also, I think a better understanding of the term "blessing" would help us make more sense of things when faced with real, character-testing trials. So many Christians expect God to shower them with "good gifts," or to at least protect them from harm. Then they find themselves in heart-wrenching trouble, and no amount of pleading for help seems to work. What gives?
If we only prepare for the human definition of "blessings"--what do we tell the lady whose cancer has returned for the third time? She's not praying right? God doesn't want to bless her? When we're just waiting for God to throw open the storehouses of Heaven in our favor, what do we tell the mothers who sent their kindergarteners off to school and never saw them alive again?...
"The storehouse door is jammed."
"Think positive."
"You're just under attack at the moment...but get ready for a blessing!"
No. These sound ridiculous because they are hollowed-out versions of God's Word. And if your beliefs about God don't hold up when tragedy strikes--if they're only true sometimes--then they aren't true at all.
We prepare ourselves for "God-sized" blessings, and then get shocked when there's no pony under the tree. Not to mention, we must actively ignore the Scriptures where Paul, Peter, and James warn us to expect suffering and rejoice over it. We've forgotten His ways are not our own...
Look, I realize this is a complicated subject, and I don't mean to imply I've arrived at total understanding. But, I'm saying, we can't stand on the motto "God wants to bless us" insofar as it means "God wants to put a smile on our faces" because that theology doesn't stand up to real life. We have to find a way to reconcile all of the Scriptures together, instead of clinging to the snippets that make us feel good for a moment.
I think we need a grown-up definition of "blessing"...one that recognizes we're blessed to have a God who works tirelessly to make us holy. When we tell ourselves His first priority is our happiness, then suffering makes no sense. If we tell ourselves we just have to be patient and think positive because the good stuff is right around the corner, we're sunk when the corner never comes. What if we never get the stuff we want? Is God still good? Did He forget to bless us?
Or is it possible the trials and sufferings are themselves the blessing we request so often without thinking?
(Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ ...you are blessed. --From 1 Peter 4)
----
Do you agree that "God wants to bless us" is an example of oversimplified, paper-thin doctrine that tends to crumble under scrutiny? Can you think of other Christianese sayings which send a thrill through the congregation on Sunday morning, but prove ambiguous (or even completely *wrong*) when tested in real life?
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