Biblical Femininity

Women who fight the cookie-cutter ideas of femininity?  I get it. I totally understand the urge to yell, "Not all of us are like that!" I know why you'd rather talk about individual gifts, talents, and personalities than examine what makes someone "female."

But, I cannot agree with Rachel Held Evans that gender roles are "legalistic."

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First, a word about my masculine traits. According to the Myers Briggs test, I have a personality which less than 1% of females possess--INTJ. While the vast majority of women settle in the various "perceptive-feeler" groups, I'm an analytic processor. You could say, with reasonable accuracy, that I think like a man.

In addition to this, I'm blunt (and even coarse); I'm impatient with others; and I completely take over situations when I think I can do a better job (which is often). Conversely, I'm NOT naturally compassionate--nor am I soft and gentle, nor what most would call instinctively "motherly" or nurturing.

Seriously, ladies, I understand balking at traditional gender roles, because very few of us fit nicely into the Bible's description of a woman's character.  It would be much easier to declare, "God made we this way!" and continue doing what we find natural, rather than what God calls feminine.

But I believe God made me female for a reason, even when it feels more like chains than a gift.
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Do you know what other types of people may claim, "God made me this way" ? Well, everybody.

That includes those who struggle with addictions. It includes people who are sexually attracted to members of the same gender. In fact, I think every, single one of us has tendencies and impulses ("natural" ones!) which should not be indulged.

So, why do women allow Church Culture to tell them, "Be True to Thyself"?

"...as a primary philosophy, ["to thine own self be true"] is merely the codification of childishness.  They may as well come out and tell women and girls: don’t let anyone tell you what to do.  For some reason, feminists are eternally fretting that women and girls won’t be sufficiently self-centered.  They are constantly reminding us how selfless women are, and that they really need to 'take some time for themselves,' or 'follow their hearts.'"

I totally agree that society encourages selfishness--especially in women. In fact, I wrote a post complaining about the phrase "take time for yourself" (and one about "following your heart") some time ago... 

We assume everything about our "natural" personalities should be celebrated, without stopping to ask whether we're behaving selfishly and growing ever-more unappealing to God.

This celebration of "me" is why I have a problem with the post by Rachel Held Evans--mentioned above. She explains why traditional gender roles are just ridiculous.

Her words:
"[Complementarianism] relies heavily on demanding that all men conform to rigid, prescriptive standards of manhood and that all women conform to rigid, prescriptive standards of womanhood, regardless of personality, giftedness, culture, circumstances...This is legalism, plain and simple, for it reduces faithfulness to a list of rules..."

Unforunately, Mrs. Evans fails to talk about what the Bible says.

Just as Jimmy Carter comes to rescue women from God's Word, Mrs. Evans also ignores the Creator's opinion about men and women. She prefers the very Oprah-friendly approach to gender studies--advising it's most important to be true to yourself.

"You see this sort of language a lot in complementarian literature: 'real men,' 'real women,' 'real marriage,' 'hardwired,' 'programmed,' 'blueprint'—as if masculinity and femininity are rigid, set-in-stone ideals to which we must ascribe, rather than fluid expressions of our unique selves..." 

 That's a great point! ...er, unless humans HAVE been hardwired...and God DOES have specific plans for a person's masculinity/femininity?  Um, what if Christians DO have a blueprint for living?

Perhaps you recognize Rachel's name from a book she wrote--A Year of Biblical Womanhood--in which she mocks Scripture by staying home for 12 months and calling her husband "master." Far from a research-minded study in biblical authenticity, this project was nothing more than a lightweight PR stunt.

This woman does not take God's Word seriously.

I guess that's why she gives a hearty "amen" after quoting a fellow, liberal feminist "Christian" who said:

"Here’s what it comes down to for me. My gender is not something I perform; it is something I am. Womanhood is not something I do; it is something I live. Femininity does not define me; as a woman created in the image of God, I define it..." (emphasis mine)

Hm...interesting. This lady quotes the Bible when she says we are "created in the image of God." But she assumes Scripture is completely outdated and unreliable when it talks about gender roles... On that point, apparently, it's up to her what's acceptable.  (After all, "created in God's image" pretty much means, "you are God," right?)
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Dear reader, do you get to define your masculinity or your femininity? I don't define mine.

For me, embracing biblical femininity, whether I feel like it or not, is very much like asking homosexuals to abstain from their natural, sexual impulses in order to accept God's role for them.  Some would ask, understandably, "Well why would God create them with same-sex attraction in the first place--if he wants all sexual relationships to look the same?"

Indeed, it would be much easier if we always wanted to do what God wants, all the time.

But where's the worship there? ...Where's the sacrifice?

President Carter and Mrs. Evans don't want Christian women to have to sacrifice. Ever. They want Christians to enjoy doing what we feel like doing, all the time. Unfortunately, without a standard other than our own feelings, we can justify ANYTHING.

Rather than Christianity, these wolves advertise Secular Humanism...which is self-worship and idolatry. Researchers interviewing teenagers about spirituality have called this religion: Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. But, whatever the name, it leads to the same things: relativity and then confusion.  It does not represent Truth.

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"Be YOU! There is no standard other than the one you create. Be true to you, because God wants it!"

No, my dear sisters. God wants your complete devotion to Him. He wants obedience--total willingness to do His bidding. He has no use for a long list of reasons your way might be better.  God loves when you're happy, but He knows that won't come from "Girl Power" messages, written by confused, human-worshiping bloggers with a book to sell.

Fulfillment comes from sacrifice. Dying to self. It comes from finding God's will for masculinity and femininity. And if/when you are convicted that God wants something different than your flesh wants, sacrifice means repressing natural desires as an act of worship.
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I'm a natural leader. But I refuse to use it as an excuse to override my husband's authority.  Luke generally is more compassionate and nurturing than I am. It doesn't automatically mean God wants him home with the kids while I "find myself" in the Corporate world.

Despite my tendencies (and even conflicting talents), I have been "hardwired" with femininity. And the Bible's blueprint outlines what is best for me in the long run. Anything God asks which doesn't come "natural"--anything which doesn't feel "authentic" or even comfortable--gives me the chance to prove I mean when I say: YOUR will, Father. Not mine.

When will we stop accepting excuses from our "Sistahs" in Christ, and start submitting wholeheartedly to God?

(Relevant scriptures:  Proverbs 31:10-31,  Genesis 3:16, I Peter 3:1-6, Titus 2:3-5, Deut. 22:5)