But I admit there are many similarities between a man leading his dog and learning to lead his wife.
First, in effort to preempt the complaints, a word about whether it's "Christlike" to draw this kind of comparison:
Recently I was chewed out for having the gall to compare homosexuality with incest and bestiality. Could I really not see the difference?! How utterly offensive!
But these thin-skinned people miss the point of comparing and contrasting altogether. It's not about whether you have negative feelings toward the examples used. (I could draw links between an ink pen and a powdered doughnut, if I thought long enough.) The question is: are these things similar in any way?
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| Are any of my readers offended by this?... |
...I swear, if Jesus had spoken to a modern audience about the Church being his Bride, some guy in the back would whine, "I don't waaaaaaant to wear a dress!"
I'm not in the mood to deal with ridiculous over-sensitivity. There are similarities between the way women and dogs behave. Sorry, but there are. I'm going to talk about those correlations now.
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First, I draw your attention to this person's blogpost about how Cesar Millan (the Dog Whisperer) unintentionally offers great dating advice.
"Now before the ladies start freaking out, please allow me to explain. I’m in no way implying that a man needs to slap a collar around his girlfriend’s neck before leaving the house. However, all men must realize that most women will respond to a dominant, assertive male who isn’t afraid to lead..."
He goes on to include Five Things a man can learn from Cesar:
1. Women need balance to be happy in their relationship. (Exercise, discipline, and affection.)
2. A woman should be placed in a position where she can feel proud of herself.
3. When walking, body language and energy matter.
4. Never give affection at the wrong times.
5. It's the man's responsibility to lead.
He explains all of these in detail, and the similarities really are intriguing. I only have a couple notes to add.
It's important to keep in mind Cesar's emphasis on "calm assertiveness." The calmness is key.
If a woman gets upset and yells, the whole matter escalates when the man reacts by yelling back. Loud, angry words may sound fierce and dominant, but the use of them actually signals a loss of self-control...which is almost the opposite of assertiveness.
The more short-tempered the man, the more he must keep this in mind. What message does he really send, if he threatens and even hits his partner? Calmness--regardless of the rage being displayed by the woman--must be maintained at all times in order to signal real, inside-out leadership.
Another "Cesarism" relates to owners who confuse "love" with babying their animals. He always tells them: "don't treat dogs like humans." But, uh, women are humans--so what point could I possibly want to make?
Only: "don't treat women like men."
Many of Cesar's toughest clients want to argue with him about the "humanity" of their pets. "Fido is not JUST a dog!!!" The irony is, this statement implies being a dog is not good enough. If people really believed dogs were totally, awesomely great, they wouldn't feel the need to think of them differently--and treat them like something else.
The same goes for women... There are many people (like White Knight Jimmy Carter)--who claim to love women. Yet, they don't encourage them to find God's purpose for their femininity. They don't preach about gentleness, submission to their husbands, and practicing maternal, nurturing strength.
They don't love women if they expect women to act more like men.
Our culture focuses so heavily on equality that it virtually ignores the differences between the genders. It's not popular to talk about such things--the same way sensitive pet owners would prefer not to think of their animals as un-human. But there is nothing wrong with being an animal, if that's how it was created.
And there is nothing wrong with women being women. I'm proud of it. Why should I be treated any differently?
Treat your wife like a human, of course, but acknowledge that she is a female one...with a female brain and female biology which often processes events in a different way than males.
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Finally, a quote from the episode I just watched, after Cesar endured a long bout with an especially aggressive pooch:
"There we go...he is surrendering. See, we don't want to hurt his heart or his spirit or his body. We are just blocking him from throwing that temper tantrum...It's not fun to have all that pent-up anger, and we help him release it."
Cesar's amazing success in training stems from genuinely loving dogs. He doesn't want to hurt them. He wants them to be "balanced." He wants what's best for them.
If a man is motivated by real, others-centered love, then he will learn to be assertive for the good of his family, even if his actions are misunderstood by outsiders. (Cesar receives tons of criticism from animal rights groups, wishing he would be more "nice.")
But the loving motivation makes all the difference between disgusting male-Chauvinists, who mistreat their ladies, and a strong, competent Head of Household whom a lady knows she can trust.
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