Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Some of you may remember that on July 22nd of last year, I stated I've never read the Bible straight through. That day, I began a 360-day reading plan in order to fix that situation....whiiiiiiiich means I am less than a month away from completing my goal. Admittedly, I didn't always read EVERY DAY, like I was supposed to. But, I managed to keep plugging away and remain on target to finish on time. It feels really good to keep a resolution for once.

On the other hand, the day after I wrote that post, I wrote about my desire to find a mentor and make more friends in general. This is a goal I have NOT kept. And--a year later--I'm still praying for more chances for fellowship. In fact, now that I'm home with the baby 24/7, I'm even more aware of my social deprivation! Man, it is so hard to develop friendships outside of college.

The GOOD news is, God has begun to work out a few of the issues standing in my way a year ago. (Follow the link to read specifics!) I wrote I'm highly critical of people and often dismiss the possibility of a relationship before one even has the chance to form. I have unrealistically high expectations of people. And, I didn't feel I had much in common with the acquaintances I already had.
Thankfully, rather than continuing to be critical and hard-to-please, I think I'm finally concentrating on the positive things in life, starting with the small things. This is thanks to a small, diaper-wearing "thing," which has taught me to appreciate each moment. She's growing FAST, and I can't afford to waste time being negative.  I can't afford to measure each minute against my perfectionist standard, when it means ignoring the potential for JOY those minutes offer. I've committed to seeking out the good things, and that goes for when I'm forming opinions of other people, too.

Also, I'm finally realizing that whether I think I have something "in common" with another person is a moot point. And, really, I'll never know how similar I am to another until I start investing in a relationship in the first place. When it comes down to it, my REAL hang-up has little to do with whether a person is "right" or "wrong" as a companion--and it has everything to do with an aversion for how much work it will take to find out! Getting to know someone is hard, and I think I'm just lazy...

I've always been that way. I distinctly remember a conversation with Luke when we had been dating about 4-5 months, in which I started crying over how difficult intimacy was. I told him: "I want to be known soooooo badly. I want you to understand the REAL me--not just the me I show to the world. But...but...we have to spend time together for years before that will happen."

It sounds like a "duh" kind of statement, but I was standing at the starting line with a boy who--at the time--wasn't much more than a total stranger, and the task seemed daunting. I honestly couldn't imagine being known by him the way I desired. Now that no one knows me better, I realize it just takes time and effort. All relationships take time and effort.

So, I think I'm ready to get on the starting line with a few people and start working toward friendships. I've already made the first step, since Luke and I bought a few board games and I've promised myself actively to seek out time for fellowship. Also, I'm planning to send a message to all of my Facebook friends from Fort Wayne letting them know the McKinney's are interested in hanging out as well as asking about small groups in the area. (Fort Wayne friends: you have been warned.) 

Am I being too forward? I hope not. Is there potential to make some people, including me, feel a bit awkward? Possibly. But, it couldn't be more awkward than CRYING in front of your new boyfriend because you "have to" work on the relationship, right? And, of course, my good friends will discover I'm awkward at times anyway. It's part of the "real me"--which I usually try desperately to hide from the world.

For these reasons, I'm done analyzing how people might respond to my new quest. Now that my Bible reading goal is almost complete, I'm in the market for a new mission. I want community, and I'm ready to take chances...

So....how about you? Want to be my friend?  :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Before You Steal From My Mother...

For my short-attention-span readers, let me just say: I know this post is long--but it's worth sticking through it, especially if you plan to commit petty larceny in my mom's neighborhood at some point.

First of all--a quick explanation of my TWO week silent streak. My parents' 25th anniversary was last week, and I've been busily scanning, organizing, and printing photos for a small reception I was planning in their honor. It was a surprise to my mom, so I decided to avoid the internet quite a bit the last few days rather than risk accidentally spilling the beans.

On top of that, Luke's computer contracted a virus, so the only working one we've had is my old one--the one with HUGE black spots all over the screen from when I dropped it on the floor. It gets us around the internet for now. But it's extremely inconvenient for writing/reading things. (We have to keep moving the windows to the clear spot on the screen. Sorry if there are typos in today's post. I literally can't see them!)

But, all the trouble of using this computer is worth it! This story MUST be told.

So, Luke and I were in Kokomo over the weekend for his sister's wedding reception on Saturday afternoon AND for my dad's comedy show Sunday night, after which I had the anniversary reception planned.

I think everything went really well (although Cami had gas bubbles and kept us from an ideal amount of sleep), and we stayed Sunday night (last night) with plans to drive home first thing in the morning.

It was about 5:45, just an hour before my alarm was set, when I heard my mom yell, "Are you kidding me?! Are you freaking kidding me?!" Mind you, she wasn't talking to anybody in particular. She was just exclaiming loudly to herself before storming into her bedroom, waking up my dad, and saying several things I couldn't hear except for-- "YES. A guy on a bike just sawed off my pool pump!"

She dialed her phone immediately and told the police dispatcher the same thing: "I heard water and thought it was raining. But, when I went outside to check my car windows, I realized it was the pool leaking and the pump was missing." Underneath the mangled hoses, in a rapidly-growing puddle of water, there was a saw which had come from my parents' garage. Apparently, mom had seen someone walking a bike away from the scene before she realized she'd been robbed, and she was sure this person was the guilty party. So sure, in fact, that she jumped in her car to go look for him as soon as she hung up with the cops.

By this time, everyone in the house (except my sister) was awake. While Mom was gone, a police officer came and gave Luke and I the case number for insurance purposes. A few minutes later, Mom came back for her inhaler because she was all keyed up. That's when she told us she'd seen the bike and a gas can, abandoned behind a house down the road, but no perpetrator. Dad climbed in the car with her and left for a second sweep around the block, but this time, the bike and gas can were missing.

Eventually, they figured out that the bike AND the gas can had come from their garage, too. So, they reported those items stolen, and Mom spent quite a bit of time looking through the garage for more missing items. She also remembered that she had seen a WOMAN walking in the alley with a gas can before she saw it behind the house with the bike. Now she was looking for a red-headed female, who probably wasn't on a bike after all, because Mom knew every, single bike from HER garage had flat tires! (Again, all of these details were reported to the police.)

About 45 minutes went by. Dad was holding Cami, and Luke and I had packed the majority of our stuff in the car for an earlier-than-expected trip home. We were talking about how rough the day was going to be for Mom, and how we wished for a happier ending to the anniversary weekend. (She has asthma and diabetes--so we assumed her breathing and blood sugar would be off for several days.) Anyway, it was just as Luke and I were thinking about heading home when Mom yelled through the back door: "JOHN! JOHN! I see the redhead! Bring my keys!!!!!"

Dad practically threw Cami back at me and raced outside with Mom's keys. It was cold this morning, so I didnt follow them. The only thing I knew was Mom was trying to chase down somebody. But my brother, Luke, and I started laughing about the whole situation right away. My brother said, "Watch! The next thing that happens is Mom will pull up outside with a girl duct-taped to the roof of her car yelling, 'Look what I caught!!!" None of us really knew what she planned to do if she ran into this supposed pump-stealer, but none of us really thought she'd find her again anyway.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOONK.

That's my best recreation of what we heard next--my Mom LAYING ON THE HORN at 7:00 in the morning as she sped down the block in front of our house. I'll admit, I was a bit dazed, and it took me a second to understand that I also was hearing the sound of squealing tires. So, by the time I followed Luke, Andrew and Dad outside, Mom had already spun a donut in the street, backed up, and headed THE WRONG WAY down their one-way road--again at top speed. And now, from the front porch, I could see why: she was in pursuit of a young, red-headed female, wearing a pink top and running for dear life from the crazy woman she stole from!

I'll pause to fill in the details I only learned later. Earlier, Mom and Dad had noticed a package of cigarettes at the end of their driveway and left them there. Mom was keeping an eye on that spot as she inventoried the garage, just in case the person came back for them. And the poor, unintelligent creature DID come back. Mom came out and made eye-contact with the girl--which caused her to jump and run. If she wasn't sure before, the sudden fleeing helped Mom determine that was the suspect, and she yelled for her keys immediately.

Picture: gray Neon with the pedal to the floor keeping up with a desperate woman on foot as Mom corralled her into a three block radius, yelling orders to us on the porch every time she drove by:

"CALL THE POLICE!" (Vroooooooom SQUEEK!)
"WHICH WAY DID SHE GO?!" (SQUEEEK! VROOOOOOOM!)
"CATCH HER! CATCH HER!"

And, not only that, but we could hear my mother screaming threats at the top of her lungs after the woman, too.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE AND I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU!"
"YOU MIGHT AS WELL STOP RUNNING!" (vroooooooooooom!)

I am not making up any of this. My dad dutifully pulled out his phone and called the police as instructed, telling the operator: "We called earlier to report some property missing and--well--now my wife is....chasing the person who did it." I'm SURE the operator could hear all the commotion in the background.
Dad: "Yes, she's in a gray Neon. The woman is on foot in a pink top....and she's trying to keep her sighted."

The woman managed to duck behind some houses and stay out of vision for a little while, and several police cars showed up in the meantime. We gave each of them the description in turn and pointed to wear we'd seen her disappear, and Mom kept driving around, too. A few minutes later, she pulled up next to the house to tell her story to one of the officers, but only managed to say, "She was in a pink top" before yelling "THERE SHE WENT, BEHIND THAT HOUSE!" and taking off again,.

Well, now we had about 6 cop cars and my mother patrolling a mere ONE block area--and Luke, Dad, and I couldn't help but run over there on foot. We stationed ourselves at the corners, and kept in touch with the others through phones and walkie-talkies. Another ten minutes went by when I decided to walk into a neighbor's yard and see if I could scare up the suspect, and I just happened to see, four or five houses away, someone look around nervously and move out of my sight quickly. But, THIS red-head was wearing a white tank top.

I flagged down one of the policemen and spread the word that we were looking for a different color shirt now, and one of the officers finally pulled her out of some bushes about 15 minutes later. (We were worried they were about to give up, but when we saw all the officers converge on a single spot down the street, we all ran over there, too.)

They had my mother identify the woman (who was repeating, "What am I being accused of? I don't understand!" Just like on TV! haha.) And then--get ready, my friends--the male policemen had ME doa quick pat down of the female suspect. I had to peek down her pants, too.

Apparently she dropped the "clueless" act at the police station and agreed to tell them several places she had ditched her loot. So, my parents ended up getting the majority of their stuff back. And, the rest of us are left to marvel at how a little bit of luck, a stupid criminal, and my semi-crazy mother can work together and create one very memorable morning.

And let that be a lesson to all you pump thieves! Mrs. Branyan is PSYCHO! Don't steal from her. :)