There Is Nothing Funny About Insecurity

In general, I don't find women comics funny. Often, they tend to be whiny, predictable, and outspokenly feminist. (By now, surely all of you know how I feel about the majority of feminists.) But I actually had high hopes for Tina Fey's book Bossypants, after waiting about three months for it to be available at the library.

I read the back cover in a bookstore and chuckled to myself. The description on the inside flap sounded promising. AND, everybody knows her Palin impersonation was spot-on-hysterical, so I decided to check it out.  So why, half-way through, was a I tempted to give up and return it?

Simply: my reading time is precious these days, and I try to keep it entertaining (as opposed to a chore). Bossypants' ability to elevate my blood pressure made it a bad fit. When the first three chapters contain nothing but the same-old cracks about homosexuals and style, I get concerned. When punchlines are few and political rants are frequent, I roll my eyes. When "abortion" is mentioned in jest, not once, but twice, I want to throw your book against a wall.

She piped about workplace inequality--which meant disproportional celebration whenever a female did something cool. (Nothing like favoring women as a means of combating sexism. Power to my people!)  She complained repeatedly about those who don't think she's funny--even dedicating Chapter 17 to personal responses to haters in internet forums. (It's possible to answer an opponent tactfully, like when she told the guy who called her a troll, "You've never even seen my guard a bridge!"  That's kind of funny, and shows she doesn't take herself seriously. But then, she abandoned the high road by referencing his small penis and joking about another commenter's mom. Classy.) Apparently she remains unaware how this discredited the chapter titled, "I don't f---ing care if you like it." Over and over, I reached the conclusion, "She's just an angry feminist!" And we all know there's nothing funny about soapbox preaching.

For some reason, though, I kept picking up the book again, and now I'm glad I did. If I hadn't, I would have lost my own challenge to consider the motivation behind somebody's actions before saying "I don't understand how someone could be that way!" Too often, we make no effort to look from another person's point-of-view before assuming they are crazy. So, I really needed to find SOMETHING positive to say about Tina Fey, and to attempt understanding her many, unexpected sore spots, even though she bugs me.  

And, little by little, I began to see the insecurity behind Miss Fey's inconsistencies. One of the best examples was when she said: “The worst question [about my personal life] is: How do you juggle it all?...They're asking, 'You're [messing] it all up, aren't you?'" 

THAT'S what she hears when people ask about her busy life? Friends, journalists, and talk show hosts want to know how a married, TV executive, with a three-year-old, manages everything at once, and she thinks this is code for secret judgement? Later, she tells the story of when she realized it "wouldn't be just me and the baby" any time soon because  “work wasn't just going to go away.” It devastated her. But she writes: “Of course, I'm not supposed to admit that there is triannual sobbing in my office because it's bad for the feminist cause. It makes it harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. It makes it harder for other working moms to justify their choice."  

Then she goes on to admit she argues with herself about whether to have another baby before her body says it's too late, or to continue her “dream job” at NBC. She really gets quite vulnerable about her internal struggles, and that's where I found the common ground. I understand battling with the self very well. This whole blog is dedicated to battling between choices for the Kingdom and choices for myself. It sounds like Miss Fey struggles with her "self."

The problem is, she wraps up her book with a great big “I know it's all going to be okay" without giving any specifics. My question is: what does it mean to be "okay?" And how can she be so sure in that prediction? What tells her it will be okay?

I have my security in Jesus. When I say "everything is going to be all right," I can follow it up with, "because my Father in Heaven has a plan for me, and I will spend eternity with Him in Heaven even if things on earth get crazy." I can identify with the Proverbs 31 woman, who laughs at the future because she knows her value isn't found in any earthly thing.  Not whether  men "take her seriously."  Not how others perceive management skills.  Not whether she has one or ten children. For that woman--and for me--everything WILL be all right.

Unfortunately, I couldn't laugh at Tina Fey's book because I perceived sadness and struggle between the lines. Amid overused, politicized punchlines, there is a woman looking for genuine answers. All I want to do is show her that she believes a lie--one that her worth is found in how much she is paid. what people are saying about her online, and whether she "advances the feminist cause."

Maybe those statements are enough to land me in chapter 17 of her next book. But, there just isn't anything funny about insecurity.