Wills Clash, Tears Fall

My (15-month-old) daughter doesn't plan to sleep past 5:00am anymore. For over a week, she has woken well before the sun--disoriented and cranky--but demanding to get out of her bed.  (She actually signs "help.")

If she acts ill or we're staying in a strange place, I nurse her until she calms down.  But, I don't want to make a habit of early waking. 

So, I decided last night she needed to sleep 10 hours before she could get up; then I crossed my fingers she wouldn't test me.  She began fussing at 5:00, on the dot. 

At 6:00, while my toddler alternated between angry shrieks and pathetic wails, I updated my Facebook status: 

"I'm sorry, Little One. But you haven't slept properly for almost ten days now, and there will be no bending to your demands this morning...
I tucked you back in and closed the nursery door--so you might think you're alone. But, I'm still here, listening to every sob.
Yours isn't the only broken heart.
(I feel there's a metaphor here somewhere.)"

----

Later today, (after baby gave in to a couple more hours of sleep) I found a blog post which nicely packages the metaphor to which I referred.    What Breaks God's Heart? Disobedient Children.   

I know we don't think of babies as "disobeying" when they cry. But, consider the author's definition.

Kids disobey when they believe themselves wiser than their parents.  They think their plan makes more sense than their mother's. They like their way better than their father's.  If the child's tears come from losing a battle-of-wills with Mom and Dad, it's disobedience...

But, it hurts Mom and Dad, too.  

We don't want to see our babies suffer. I would prefer to explain the physical necessity of rest to my baby and have her just trust me. But, she only learned to say her own name two days ago. She doesn't understand. 

As she cried, I told her, "it will be okay." 

I said, "You need to sleep."  

And I whispered "I love you." Multiple times.   

But she doesn't understand.    

Thus, I could do nothing but wait nearby, aware of (and hating) every tear...

...and to rejoice in the fact that someday she will know what I know.

(P.S.  Another excellent article: When God is Silent)