My disillusionment with Santa began when I started working with preschoolers. Every year, without fail, the parents with the wildest children would stand near the door, with hats and mittens in hand, yelling across the room, "If you don't come put your coat on, Santa won't bring you any presents!" I realize not every parent who encourages the Santa myth uses him (unsuccessfully) to manipulate their ill-behaved kids. But this scene got me wondering how and why parents ever started willfully deceiving their children in the first place.
I don't believe the Bible supports the usage of "little white lies." It says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." Furthermore, Jesus is called the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
If Truth describes God Himself--I want to imitate it as closely as possible. But does this impact that famous, white-and-red lie many parents adopt at this time of year? Would truthful parents encourage belief in the North Pole. elves, flying reindeer, and the "Big Man," too?
I think the author of this blog post, Why Lie to Your Kids About Santa, makes some excellent points.
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Often, when someone questions a trend that LOTS of people embrace, there is backlash. This case in no exception. But, if you read the comments, Clint (the author) responds to each criticism with respect. I appreciate the way he distinguishes between playing pretend with your child (when he/she knows it's just a game) and telling them something is real which isn't. I also appreciate the way he reiterates that parents must decide what is best for their own children. But, even with all the disagreement, it seems to me the commenters largely failed to address Clint's bottom line:
"I want my children to grow up knowing that their dad never, ever lies to them. About anything."
Many commenters argued, "I believed in Santa, but I didn't consider my parents liars!" Maybe you didn't, but can you see how some children might? Were they being totally truthful? Another person said, "I guess I should take ALL the fiction books off the shelf and throw them away, so my kids don't get confused..." (Even though Clint already explained he thinks fantasy is fun, if kids are in on the "joke.") I realize the issue is not related to "salvation"--which is Christianese for "not that important," and I don't think Santa-selling parents are "bad"....
But I also agree with the commenter who summarized: There is a big difference between reading fiction for entertainment or lessons and selling fiction as truth.
And I want my children to grow up knowing that their mom never, ever lies to them. About anything.
The article continues:
"This may lead to some awkward moments in life, like a premature discussion about where babies come from. But surely adding a stork to the catalog of misinformation can’t be a better tactic than opting for truth in every situation."
I can almost hear the critics now....
"Oh, so you're going to explain sex positions to your 4-year-old?"
Of course I am! We all know "don't lie to your kids" means "tell them everything you know, before they go to bed tonight."
NO! It's my job to present the truth on whatever level my audience can handle. Let's be honest. We're smart enough to give the kid-version of where babies come from without adding untruths about a stork. We should be able to get our kids to mind without making empty threats about coal in the stocking. And, regardless of where you draw yours, there ought to be a line between "truth" and "falsehood." I don't want my kids to think mine shifts.
I want them to know mommy never, ever lies to them. Whether black, white, or red-and-white. About anything.
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