The Service of Censorship

As a conservative--and a rampant internet user--I'm unimpressed with the current push to regulate and censor online activity.

I believe it's my responsibility not to look at things or listen to things which offend me. I can't control what other people post, and writing laws just whittles away at freedom. But I can control whether I subject myself to things which offend me.

This concept motivated my post, "If You Don't Like My Teaching..."  Anyone who stumbles onto my blog, hears my teaching, and finds the material horrendous, needs only to exit my classroom.  Nobody is making anyone stick around. The reader's counterpoint to "freedom of speech" is the "freedom to plug his or her ears," so to speak.

Yet, as a Christian, I'm confronted with the responsibility of personal censorship. To an extent, I must guard what I say to others. These two beliefs dance a complicated tango. 

Where does my call to "be considerate" "watch your tongue" and "live at peace with everyone" meet the listener’s responsibility to grow thicker skin and ignore things with which they disagree?

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 I think audiences play a huge part in whether we censor or speak freely.  For example, with Luke, I use virtually no brain-to-mouth filter. I may tell him, "There is green slime coming from every hole in my face,” whereas, to the cashier at Aldi who asks, “How are you?” I’d simply say, “Fine.”  But this, of course, is just social etiquette. It wouldn't be wrong to tell the cashier my sinuses are full of mucous...just awkward.  What about when I tell Luke things which would be rude to say in front of others?  Is it okay to "rant" or "vent" to a trusted confidant, when popular culture says, "If you wouldn't say it to a person's face, don't say it at all"  ?   

Before you answer, consider the many audience-specific calculations we make.  We tell stories in front of adults we wouldn't share with children. We yell things at other drivers in the winter which we'd repress if the windows were down. And, most interestingly, we censor our choices of humor greatly, depending on who's listening. I had a friend in middle school who HATED the blonde stereotype, so she told blonde-related jokes using “red-head” instead.  A silly preference, perhaps. But, when I was in her company, I censored myself, for her sake.   What about jokes which are racist or sexist? Is it EVER okay to tease, using words like "retarded," "nigger," "faggot"....? What if you're joking with one or two people who know you're just kidding?

One thing is for certain: it would be downright mean to continue telling standard blonde-jokes to my friend if I knew she really hated them.  One-on-one with each other, we tend to be more careful. If our audience is small, we at least recognize our responsibility to be gentle, and it's easier to censor.

But what about bigger audiences…especially those of mixed beliefs?

My dad makes his living as a stand-up comic. He doesn't use filthy language or off-colored humor. Yet, there still are people who find his show "offensive" for one reason or another. He has been told he is disrespectful toward my mom (as if she hasn't seen the show and can't speak for herself); some say switching to a high-pitched voice is discriminatory against women; and one person said his use of an electronic cigarette (and playing practical jokes with it) are insensitive to someone who has lung cancer...

Dad says it just goes to prove you can't make everyone happy. Somebody will be offended about something, every time. But Dad can't control the responses of audience members any more than I can convince readers to agree with me. The only thing we can do is make sure our own consciences are clear.

So when are we released of our burden to censor ourselves for certain people?  There is no doubt the quality of a product suffers if writers, comics, painters, musicians, etc. try to please the .1% of people who dislike it, instead of continuing to work for their loyal fans. But, as a Christian, isn't it my dad's job--isn't it my job--to be considerate and live at peace with everyone?
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Feel free to choose any of the offshoots to the main topic and give me your thoughts. To what extent should we censor ourselves? How does audience size come in to play? If I know certain topics frustrate somebody, should I steer clear of them at all times? Are there different rules for jokes? What if the things someone says are offensive... but true?

How can we use censorship as a service of love toward others?