To the Regulars at the Sports Bar, and all others in the vacinity at 2:30 this morning

Most of the time, these blog posts center on ways I've succeeded or failed on my personal quest to be a better wife, teacher, friend, and neighbor.

But I didn't get enough sleep for that kind of humility today. Instead, let me present you with:

Three Ways YOU may be able to Serve ME Better

1. If you own a dog whose barking annoys you in the wee hours of the morning, do not send it outside, where it will annoy me, too.
2. If you are a regular at the Sports Bar across the street, and you simply must get obnoxiously drunk every Thursday and Friday night, and if you must scream everything you say to "Mike" (who is two feet away from you), and if you still think you're sober enough to drive home, please at least avoid parking directly in front of my house. May I suggest the driveway five or six houses down, where the dog is barking?
3. AND, if you own a car with a "system" for turning the bass line of any song into a drill, please drive your vehicle off a cliff.

Thank you.