How DO You Become a Grandpa?

Could this be the longest I've ever gone without posting? AAAAAND I neglected my Wednesday letter, too? Hm.


Well, you probably think I've been laying around with a massive headache and sour stomach which made the thought of looking at the computer almost unbearable--but that was just one night. Instead, I've been spending extra time in the daycare. And that means: Quote Time



(at lunch) 3-year-old: "I need....uh....May I have...uh..."

(anticipating, I hand him a spoon)

3-year-old: "But, I need something to poke AND scoop."



Me: "I see feet that are moving too fast in the classroom!!"

4-year-old girl: "Feet, you are getting me in trouble."


5-year-old boy (no context whatsoever): "Miss Amanda, where do you go to become a grandpa?"

----

Yes, the daycare produced a few hair-pulling moments this week, as we now have a classroom full of children in very different stages of development--forcing the teachers to switch hats constantly.

For instance, take Student A, who has autism and lately becomes aggitated over any hint of noise. So, I try to maintain the peace. In a room full of preschoolers. Some having special needs. Maybe you get the picture? (If not, imagine loud, happy sounds from some kids followed by loud, unhappy sounds from Student A.) Combine this issue with Student B, who doesn't realize just how large he is and further interprets crying as a signal that the distressed individual needs a giant bear hug/choker hold. ("Now, now Student A. Just let me squeeze your neck between my massive forearms, and everything will be better.")

Then there's my little guy with the death wish. He's non-verbal and doesn't seem very aware of his surroundings, but I still believe we'll hear his first sentence at any time. And it will be: "can someone point me to the most dangerous thing in the area so I promptly can give my teacher a heart attack?" Some of his favorite things: light sockets, moving swings, stuffing entire rolls in his mouth (alongside the half-chewed fish and carrots), and stealing toys from the notorious Biters and Hitters of the group. Today, he saw Student B laying on the floor, absentmindedly kicking his legs and thought Those enormous tree-trunk feet look like they could smash my little skull--I should lay directly underneath them. And so he did.

I deal with these things all while keeping in mind who likes milk and who likes juice, who eats finger foods, who takes a bottle, and who's tube fed, changing diapers, and scratching backs during naptime.

So, forgive me for my hiatus. I've been a little busy maintaining order, encouraging, scolding, and answering questions. Which reminds me: if you want to be a grandpa, you have to be a dad first. And if you ever hope to do THAT, I suggest avoiding the daycare scene for awhile.

:)