Love Feels Like a Trick

Did I really do it again?

Did I perk up when somebody wrote they had "yet to hear a logical argument against gay marriage" and take that as a personal cue to jump in? Yes, yes. I did.
When a homosexual friend posted that the House voted in support of the gay marriage ban, he commented, "looks like I'm still a second-class citizen." And someone else agreed the whole thing is unfair (and he hasn't heard a good reason for the ban).

So, that's when I said: "I, too, have been the victim of discrimination. Just the other day, somebody told me I couldn't be Hispanic. I thought this was a free country? They said I can learn Spanish, paint my skin darker--I could live the life of a Hispanic. But, ultimately, the very definition of the word still requires me to have a Latino ancestor. That's excluding me from something because of my genes! Turns out I can't be a cat or get the Senior discount at McDonald's, either. There is no justice."

I have other thoughts on homosexuality. Many of them are described in this article. And this one. And this one. Aaaaaaaand this one.

But, I know full well the extent of emotion attached to this subject, so--despite the fact that no one has taken up the other side of the debate yet--I am left feeling defeated in advance. I fully anticipate the name-calling and accusations of "you're totally close-minded" when somebody argues the opposing view, but not the rational exchange of ideas I'm craving. And I can't help but think the person mentioned above probably HAS heard a logical argument before, but easily could have missed it... Like marriage, we are redifining the term based on emotions and whatever gets repeated the most.

My dad posted a quote to Facebook recently: "When you appeal to logic, you really only appeal to 4% of the population." This, too, makes me feel sad and defeated, because to what, then, do we appeal? I know there are ways to win arguments besides proving yourself right. But it feels wrong to use them.

I've read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. I've also read the Bible. Both books tell me that you can advance your cause by offering a listening ear, compassion, and generally making others feel good about themselves. Dale Carnegie says, basically, make the other person think he is the most important person in the room. The Bible says "love" people. Either way, it's a similar concept. People will flock to you if they like how you make them feel.

Yet, I struggle. Attempting to change minds and win souls with only love feels like a trick.

What makes me better than a propoganda-touting politician, who kisses butts--I mean, babies--and wins elections on charm alone? At what point does my love turn into a marketing ploy to sell Jesus? And won't a new Christian simply wither under pressure if their roots only dig as deep as my compliments have planted them--if they have no reason for agreeing with me except "she's a nice girl?"

No, there must remain SOME room for sound logic...right? I can't bare tossing reason aside in favor of emotional appeals. I hate when people bring up personal stories or reference death while trying to make a point. ("We must spend $4.6 billion a year because trees are DYING!!!!") Yet, must I resort to declaring, "Jesus died on the cross for you" without explaining why I believe the Bible to be trust-worthy in the first place?

I'm stuck. I don't want to manipulate people into agreement. There is no need to be crafty, since I'm searching for the truth and can offer reasons for my beliefs. But my reasons are useless if it's true that 96% of the world judges situations on feelings alone...

Oh, Lord, use me to change minds and win souls...even though the message of your unconditional love feels like a cheap trick on those too stubborn or lazy or corrupted to use their minds.