New Focus. New Fanaticism

Tomorrow marks ONE YEAR since I quit my job in special education...

So, it was time for an updated banner on this blog, which (until five minutes ago) read, "Learning to GIVE through special education, marriage, and everything else that wants to kill me."  My life looks vastly different from when I created Turning Selfish into Service--when I barely saw Luke (full-time-student-with-a-full-time-job), and my most frequent prayer when I woke at 5:00am was, "Lord, please, let the classroom be easier to manage than it was yesterday."   (Oh, and "No poop explosions, please!")

But, as much as things have changed, I'm still a committed Christian, fighting those sinful, self-centered impulses that will plague all of us until we reach Heaven. And I still yearn for that sense of community, to encourage me I'm not alone in the fight to put Jesus first, others second, and myself last.
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My blog was due for a re-focus because it has engaged many non-Christians over the years, and I've participated in many, lengthy discussions about morality, Truth, and why I subscribe to such strict Christian doctrines (especially regarding marriage, homosexuality, abortion, and other notoriously hot topics).

These have been useful conversations, but (through no fault of my Anonymous friends) they tend to throw my regular posts off track. In trying to defend my straight-forward, preachy and (to use a popular adjective) "arrogant" posts, I forget to explain that my main target group is fellow Christians, who already recognize their need for a Savior and want to be selfless as an act of worship to God.

I begin by assuming my readers believe we each are responsible, personally, to do as much as we can to serve our fellow man....and then, through Christ's help, do a little more. When I try to write for non-Christians simultaneously, however, I'm afraid I come across as a stinky, overzealous fanatic.

This comes from Timothy Keller's book, Reason for God. It hit me between the eyes this morning:

Many people try to understand Christians along a spectrum from "nominalism" at one end to "fanaticism" on the other. A nominal Christian is someone who is Christian in name only, who does not practice it and perhaps barely believes it. A fanatic is someone who is thought to over-believe and over-practice Christianity. In this schematic, the best kind of Christian would be someone in the middle, someone who doesn't go all the way with it, who believes it but is not too devoted to it. The problem with this approach is that it assumes the Christian faith is basically a form of moral improvement. Intense Christians would therefore be intense moralists...[who] assume they are right with God because of their moral behavior and right doctrine. This leads, naturally, to feelings of superiority...[and] to various forms of abuse, exclusion, and oppression. This is the essence of what we think of as fanaticism. 

If a fanatic pursues morality--just for morality's sake--it's no wonder people from outside my audience think I'm a know-it-all spiritual snob.  But Keller continues:

What if, however, the essence of Christianity is salvation by grace, not because of what we do but because of what Christ has done for us? Belief that you are accepted by God by sheer grace is profoundly humbling. The people who are fanatics then are so not because they are too committed to the Gospel, but because they're not committed to it enough.
Think of people you consider fanatical. They're overbearing, self-righteous, opinionated, insensitive, and harsh. Why? It's not because they are too Christian but because they are not Christian enough. They are fanatically zealous and courageous, but they are not fanatically humble, sensitive, loving, empathetic, forgiving, or understanding--as Christ was. Because they think of Christianity as a self-improvement program they emulate the Jesus of the whips in the temple, but not the Jesus who said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" (John 8:7) What strikes us as overly fanatical is actually a failure to be fully committed to Christ and his Gospel.

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I don't mean to sound as though I have all the answers. But, I have the Bible in common with my intended-audience, which is a Christian's source for answers. Contrary to the popular saying, the choir needs to hear the preaching just as often as anyone else--and my audience (saved by grace alone and NOT because they've got it all together) already knows this.

I'm still working on being over-bearing, opinionated, insensitive, and harsh. I'm not fanatical enough, yet, and that's precisely why I wrote this blog. I need support from others who want to pursue true Jesus fanaticism along with me. And, to those I've offended through misplaced sermons and Not-Very-Christlike words, I'm genuinely sorry. I'm relieved to know Jesus forgives me, and I hope you will, too.

In the meantime, anyone (even a non-Christian) is welcome to continue reading my newly-focused posts and ask questions, if, despite my failures, they're still interested in imitating that perfectly-loving, self-sacrificing Role Model of mine...