"It Takes Longer to Think than to Feel"

I've reported a couple of personal meltdowns on this site, so it's no secret I have irrational, emotional moments. Usually, they happen late at night when both Luke and I are tired and selflessness becomes the last thing we're interested in... (Well, maybe second-to-last.)

But, another common battleground for my lover and I is the car. Lately, if we're still holding hands and smiling after ten minutes or so, one of us will joke, "Are you ready to fight, yet?" It's because--more often than not--a trip somewhere is the fastest way to transform us from best friends to bitter rivals.

I kid you not. Once, Luke and I had a knock-down drag-out fight I'll give the title"When is the best time to shift gears with a manual transmission vehicle?" Another time, Luke grew angrily silent and I cried due to a discussion-gone-wrong about possible reasons my dad's clunker car hadn't given out yet.

Why do certain situations bring out the worst in us?

Well, it's easy to hypothesize about it now--safely on this side of the emotion. But, in the heat of the moment, "why" is hard to tack down, and all that seems to matter is how much we irritate each other.

That's why I was excited to stumble across This article today, titled "It Takes Longer to Think than to Feel." First of all, it was good to know Luke and I are not the only couple who get snippy for "no apparent reason." But, secondly, the author assures us there may be a reason--it just takes longer to sort out the "why" than to simply FEEL upset.

Looking back at the silly arguments from here in my comfy recliner, it makes sense that travel may cause heightened tension between Luke and I. In addition, the fight about shifting gears took place toward the end of our Volkswagon Beetle's life--during a time it repeatedly stalled in the middle of the street. In fact, that very day, just before we began bickering, the car shut itself off while we were doing 40 mph downtown. It seems pretty obvious now why emotions were high.

In the second example, Luke and I had just ridden with my parents to Kokomo from Lafayette. They tooks us to where we had left our own car earlier than morning, when we realized Luke had left his coat and OUR KEYS at my aunt's house in Lafayette. As a result, we had to borrow my dad's car to drive 45 minutes, get the keys, drive BACK to Kokomo, and then take our own vehicle home to Fort Wayne.

The oil light was on in Dad's car and his gas gauge was stuck on "empty." That's when one of us mused, "I wonder what's holding this car together?" and all Hell broke loose.

Indeed, it does take longer to think than to feel. But, I agree with the author of the article above. Just knowing that fact gives us a better ability to manage life's "out of nowhere" tensions.