This Post Has Been Rated PG, for Strong Language

I’ve never been a fan of the trend to celebrate “bitchiness.” You know, those girls/women who proudly display shirts saying, "drama queen" or "the rumors are true" or whatever...some statement which claims pride in what should be considered a fault? When I hear those messages, I think, “Thanks for the warning” and steer clear.

But, apparently, there ARE times being labeled with rudeness is a compliment. For instance, if the person labeling you doesn't seek your good, has no interest in getting to know you, and simply wants to inflict as much emotional damage on you as possible, (in the fewest number of words) then you can proudly accept their name-calling with the understanding they don't know any other way to express themselves.

Yes, I was called a bitch this week. Not only that, another person in a totally separate situation questioned my intelligence, my reading/writing skills, and my abilities as a teacher all in the same post. Actually, “questioned” isn’t the correct word. As I’ve said, fair and genuine questions are no problem for me—actually they excite me. But mean-spirited accusations are another story entirely.

Okay, so you may remember my somewhat-recent post about the importance of fathers: For Almost Every Problem, the Solution is “Daddy.” In it, I referenced an encounter with a 14-year-old girl on YouTube, who had convinced a small group of people that my dad—a stand-up comic—was hers. You may further recall that I stepped in to clear up the confusion by insisting I was one of only four Branyan children, and I jokingly asked if she was joining the family officially by attending Thanksgiving dinner. What I DIDN’T mention in the post was that the girl responded with “LOL, totally see you there!”—a gesture I took as a good-natured acknowledgement of “you caught me,” and the conversation was over with no perceived ill feelings…

Until I got an email from YouTube services telling me another stranger had stepped into the discussion. This one said: “Onlyuntakenusername: your channel says your name is Luke. So, yeah. You’re a liar.”

(sigh) As someone who prides herself on truthfulness, this was difficult to ignore. And, as somebody who doesn’t appreciate when people say things over the internet they would NEVER say to a person’s face (like, perhaps, name-calling in the very first sentence), I struggled to figure out how to respond. Mostly, I was trying to decide which proof of identity to offer, out of 23-years-worth, to show my name is Amanda and my dad is a comedian named John Branyan. But, also, I wanted to point out how completely stupid it would be for me to LIE about that during the process of flagging someone else for making the same claim.

So, I said, “Blast! You’ve found me out. I’m a young male posing as someone named Amanda while simultaneously accusing someone else of the same offense. OR, I don’t have a YouTube account, and my husband’s name is Luke. I guess we’ll never know. BUT, if you’re still concerned, you can “like” John’s page on Facebook and flip through his photos for one that depicts both me AND Luke. Actually, you should “like” John’s page either way.”

Snarky? A little. But I tried to lighten the mood with a shameless plug for my dad at the end. And notice, I STILL didn’t call her any names, though she accosted me with a badly researched personal criticism and therefore...as my kids say...she started it. I didn’t even call the 14-year-old a “liar” when I had absolute proof of the fact--namely that my mother hadn't given birth to her. Nor did I defame the young girl in the blog post I wrote afterward, though she never would have known if I had. But this second person felt justified in branding me with what I consider a serious offense?...Bad form.

I firmly believe there is no reason to start bitter rivalries with people on the internet, using words or techniques you’d never say in person. Call it a pet peeve (though, I’d call it common courtesy). But, if you are the type who throws virtual mud, prepare to have your foolishness exposed. And, beware, my sarcasm probably will appeal to you even less than realizing you were incorrect about something.

Now, some people, when bested, actually take a step back and think, “Yes, it was dumb of me to jump to conclusions,” and thus, respond with humble concession. My new friend did not do this. So, she must have playfully raised the white flag, the way the first girl did when she said she WOULD see me at Thanksgiving? No, she didn’t do that, either. Girl #2 said:

“Onlyuntakenusername: Ooh, somone got defensive... I'm sorry, did I hurt the poor wittle girls feewings? Take some midol, it helps with the PMS, bitch.”

Classy, huh? And of course fair, relevent, and all the other things I love about the expansive, anonymous internet. At least I convinced her I’m a girl, right? This basically concludes that particular example of my rough week. But, to hear about my extremism and how I’m an ignorant, immature, faith-shoving, poorly-educated teacher who keeps a god-forsaken blog, you can check out the comments in Risen from Apes, Teaching Little Apes, and especially, If You’re Too Open-Minded, Your Brains Will Pop Out.

And, now you know why last night I was feeling perturbed and pondering the obvious lack of self-control observed by too many angry computer surfers. (For Heaven’s sake, name-calling in the comment section of a post dedicated to the fact that I have no respect for name-callers?...) Anyway, that's when I stumbled upon one of the best things Blogger has to offer: Ray Comfort.

I have no idea how a blog which regularly gets 400 or 500 comments has yet to be featured as a Blog of Note, but it’s a great resource for people interested in civil back-and-forth. Right at the top of the page, Comfort states he won’t tolerate swear words or incivility, and he regularly posts videos, quotes, and anecdotes to inspire discussion. It’s exactly the kind of blog I'd want to keep, if I were as dedicated and thoughtful as Mr. Comfort AND if my original intent for this blog were to write about apologetics. Believe it or not, I once set out writing for those who already believe and wish to become more like Christ through hands-on service, sacrificing their own desires if necessary. (The whole “ask Amanda pseudo-questions and then criticize her answers as if she is gluing my eyes to the screen and forcing me to read" thing has been sort of a recent development…)

But, Ray Comfort created his blog for the very purpose of chatting with people who think differently, so his posts are more theology-specific than my own part-diary, part-half-baked-thoughts section of the cyber world. Get this—Comfort has offered Richard Dawkins $20,000 to appear for a debate, but Dawkins won’t do it. Yeah, he's that confident... (Which probably means he's immature, faith-shoving, and poorly educated, too.)

Okay, this post is growing long. But I’m getting to the point, I promise. It’s your fault, readers, because my blog statistics say I get more hits the wordier I am—which goes against EVERYTHING one learns in a “writing for the internet” class. I’m just warning you. You keep reading my endless thoughts, so you keep getting them. Anyway, Ray Comfort starts every one of his posts with an actual quote from one of his critics. The one from Monday, March 28th, in fact, features a kindly individual who declares Comfort to be “infantile,” which is very, very close to my own lofty title, “immature.” So, my favorite thing about his blog is it's a place I realize I don't have to take it personally. Other generally nice people get chewed out when they say something unpopular, just like me!

Now, this is a good and bad thing. The good news is, I can go laugh at the ludicrously negative, hateful, hurtful things people have said to Ray Comfort when I’m receiving mean comments myself. But, it’s bad because it proves that laying your heart on the line is hard, and the general response probably won't get better.

My dad wrote to me several weeks back, saying he was proud of my attempts to put the truth on the internet—and proud of my candidness in all areas. But he was afraid I was going to get hurt. I told him, “I already have been hurt. And odds are good it will happen again.” How’s that for truth and candidness? For all my confidence, for all the long tirades, for all the sarcasm and tongue-and-cheek statements I make, I’m still flesh and bone. You'll have a tough time proving I’m a liar or disproving God's existence, but don't be surprised if you're able to injure me. Random, totally unfounded and unfair comments are not filtered through cyberspace and landing in front of a faceless individual. I'm human.

So, this week’s lesson in selflessness? Taking it in stride. No, I won’t buy an "I'm a Bitch" T-shirt. And I’m not sure if I can handle the antagonism as well as Ray Comfort seems to—letting it roll off his back until he finds someone who actually wants to talk. (Even someone willing to talk in exchange for $20,000!) But, I will press on with what I believe to be a God-given mission to challenge people, even if this makes them uncomfortable to the point of lashing out like a cornered animal.

The thing I love about Ray Comfort is that he genuinely enjoys talking with people who seek the truth. Oh, he teases, calls out, and downright denounces those who just want to argue. But he speaks in love with people whose only "fault" is being unsure of their beliefs. He doesn't see atheists as the enemy. He wants to help them find answers, if they're truly asking for them.

This is something we have in common because--and I mean this seriously--I love atheists. I have a real burden for anyone trying to accept the message that life is meaningless and there is no hope after we die. And that's why I write. That's why, even when someone actively tries to "get a rise out of me," I’ll continue writing only things which I would SAY in person, and only things which I am prepared to defend honestly and fairly. I will not purposely injure another--because I have no reason to fight with any of God's children. And finally, though many have labeled it arrogance, I write with bold, insistent confidence because I have a wonderful relationship with my Heavenly Father, and I crave that experience for others. The worst that could happen to me, should I continue to keep this blog, is for cowardly strangers to continue picking apart my character. The worst that could happen to someone who doesn't answer the tough questions is they go to Hell. I'm not willing to place my feelings above another person's salvation.

And so I write on.