When the Giver Met the Saver

So, anyone else ever cried in the middle of Walmart? Over cashews?

I've only done it once.
But, after 35 minutes in the same aisle, debating (fighting) with my significant other about what to give his dad for Father's Day, I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. First, I growled several angry comments. Then I cried.

Once I heard a preacher say that God doesn't want to give you a mate who is compatible. Rather, God often puts together a man and woman who will rub eachother the wrong way in order to make them more like Jesus. A direct quote: "How are you ever going to learn unconditional love if you are married to a [person] who meets all of your conditions?" (Paul Washer. You can hear the audio sermon here: http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=31810183555)

Not only do I believe this is true, but the Cashew Incident is a prime example. It's just like God to put together a Giver and a Saver--two personalities guaranteed to butt heads when it's time to buy a present. I'm in love with my Giving husband, but he would spend $50 on every person he knew, for every birthday, Christmas, and groundhog's day because that's how he expresses his love.

One stop at Walmart to spend "less than $5" on his dad, turns into three candybars for each father, turns into candybars and a tub of cashews for everyone, and I just can't take it anymore! My love language is quality time, so I tried convincing Luke it was enough to be seeing his loved ones in person--if we ever made it out of the candy aisle. But he was sure he had to spend money--our money--to give a proper gift.

What's the moral of this story? Well, it's not, "Don't cry over cashews." Given the exact same circumstance, I'd fall apart all over again. And, hopefully, Luke and I would reach the same compromise--when Luke put DOWN the nuts and agreed to one candybar for each father we would see.

But, I'd like to summarize with the old cliche, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I learned that Luke and I think very differently, and it almost killed me. Plus, we didn't necessarily resolve the underlying issue. (Luke still hasn't learned my way of thinking is better.) But, the fact that we are "incompatible" doesn't mean we are wrong for eachother. And that realization makes us stronger.


P.S. Luke's birthday was a few days ago. I got him several bottles worth of adult beverage....and a container of cashews.