Major Victory... (OR, "Two Words You NEVER Say to Your Wife")

Yesterday started out rough.
Luke and I were supposed to be enjoying a "date day," because he was scheduled to work on our usual day (Sunday....today).
Anyway, around 9:15, just as we were beginning to enjoy the fact that we were sleeping in, Luke got a call from one of those notoriously-chatty friends. You know, the ones who literally surprise you with how long they talk? The ones regarding whom you must decide whether you have a couple hours to spare, or else let it go to voicemail? ....yeah.

Don't get me wrong. This person is a dear friend of both of ours, and I appreciate the wisdom and support he offers Luke. Their relationship is a blessing when they get a chance to talk at the appropriate times. However, Luke doesn't always choose that appropriate time... And that is why I was dismayed when he jumped up and took the call.

Then, twenty minutes into their conversation, I may have wandered into range of Luke's hearing and mumbled...."This isn't how I pictured this morning." What I didn't expect was for Luke to look up with his eyes narrowed at me and mouth the words "Shut up" before returning to his conversation.

Oh, no he didn't!
Yes. And, believe me, in the remaining 45 minutes before he hung up, I had plenty of time to work up a good fume about it.

Now, this is not a post about how a change of perspective showed me I was wrong. At least not totally. Maybe I shouldn't have mumbled my complaint--but Luke was wrong, wrong, wrong, too! First of all, he is to blame for the fact that I associate this particular friend with very long conversations, because he usually makes excuses like, "I didn't know it would take that long" or "he had a lot to say." In other words, he often acts like a victim with no control over the amount of time spent in dialog.

He has never said to this friend (or anyone, that I know of), "I really need to go now" or "I promised my wife_____, so can I call you another time?" If I knew I could trust him to protect our time together and not let hours slip by when he's talking on the phone, I wouldn't have started panicking when 20 minutes crept by.

And, second of all, the phrase "Shut up" will never be okay with me. Bad, Luke.

But, my personal battle occurred after I had given an earful to my love, explained where he was wrong, received an apology, and STILL felt like I didn't want to look at him. The urge to hold a grudge was strong, and I allowed myself to brood for at least 30 minutes before I thought about this blog....and the fact that I would have to write about the event...and the fact that I was acting according to my feelings and not based on my beliefs....

And you know what? I won! I prayed--okay, begged--that God would help me be a grown up and forgive Luke. And I decided I didn't want to be a slave to my emotions. In His mercy, God allowed me about three seconds worth of feeling like, maybe, I wasn't married to the scum of the earth, and I took the opportunity to give Luke a hug before I could revert back to angry-wife. And the rest of the day wasn't the horrible tragedy we have experienced in the past, when we began in a similarly bad way and I chose NOT to be mature enough to let it go....