Gritting My Teeth in Front of Another Daytime Television Show...

"It's not about whether you stay married or not; it's about you."

Thank you for that lovely piece of WRONG, Miss Guest Author on Dr. Phil. Argh! This is exactly the kind of screwy advice which is ruining families across the world. That along with other gems such as:
"Be true to yourself."
and "The most important thing is your happiness."

The worst part is, all of this stuff sounds totally logical, and even enlightened when a petite, soft-spoken woman is crying on the stage because her husband has had multiple affairs. Millions of viewers across the country want the talk show hosts to say "empower yourself and leave the sack-of-worthlessness that is your husband." They WANT to give her a big hug and say, "You can do better than this, Honey. The cost of your marriage is too high, and you need to look out for #1, for once."

But, I believe wholeheartedly that there is no satisfaction in living life for yourself. I'm not saying a woman being dragged through the dirt should take it wordlessly. I wouldn't suggest that physical abuse or verbal threats or marital unfaithfulness is okay (or even "tolerable"). All of them are disgusting and anyone in those situations is right to demand a change. But the LAST thing we need in this country is more people looking out for #1. Don't allow yourself to be walked on, but don't walk out either.

I don't want to be true to myself--my sin nature is ugly. And when I spend too much time thinking of my own happiness, I get restless, mean, and quite UNhappy. I'd rather end each day completely exausted and miserable because I'm pouring everything into my relationships with nothing in return than to embark on a fruitless quest to find fulfillment in myself. How many people need to go through ugly divorces when "the stakes get too high," before we realize there may be other solutions? What would happen if a generation decided to keep their vows instead of letting the fear of pain make them run?

Lord, let me be someone concerned with meeting needs, resting in the knowledge I already have everything I need in You. Remind me that the answer to a husband's selfishness is not to become selfish in return.