The Service of Silence

I had an impromptu Deletion of Facebook Friends session today. It started when a former friend's recent update popped into my news feed and pushed me to make the decision: scream at him or remove him from my sight.
Rather than describe what this kid is like, I've captured part of his biography information, in his own words:




Okay, so apparently the snap is really small and blurry for some reason. But the important points are: he is 17, "loves money," politically supports "black presidents," and attends the "church of hard knocks."

So, today, when his status update said something about the "F***ing police who put him in handcuffs because they're ignorant and all they do is see a young black kid who has been in some trouble before and start profiling and blah blah blah," I was ready to unleash on him.

I was VERY READY to say, "Get the bandana off your head, pull your pants up, and stop hanging out in shady places late at night." I was VERY READY to say, "Have some respect for the men and women trying to keep the streets safe, and maybe they would have more respect for you." And I was ready, ready, READY to say, "You should complain to the black president about the injustice" or, "I guess that's what it's like in the school of hard knocks." There is nothing more satisfying than sarcasm in these situations.

But, drat the Holy Spirit and His firm decision that I should look the other way if I can't handle the ignorance anymore. I heard a plain and simple "No."

And here is why: the truth is, this kid gets in trouble for underaged drinking, he's been delinquent in school, he has stolen things, gotten into fights repeatedly, and admits all he cares about are money, sports, and women... But I'm not in the position to convict him about these things.

I mean, I have no credibility with him at all. Telling him to grow up and get a life would feel wonderful, and--given the opportunity--I'd inform him that playing the victim will get him nowhere, and he needs to take responsibility and clean up his act before he'll find a comfortable place in life. But I was not given that opportunity.

If we influence people through love, then we are obligated to make an investment in their lives. Love is active and patient and grows stronger through practice, so it requires direct contact. But the only thing I've invested in this kid is plenty of rolled eyes and angry sighs. I've never SAID two words to him. And, if there IS someone in his life working hard to bring him back to God, there is a real possibility I could damage that progress by butting in and chewing him out.

My hope is that God already placed someone in the boy's sphere to help him change his perspectives and move from selfish into service. But this married, 22-year-old, white-woman is not cut out for the job. So I shall remain silent.

I and my delete button have been silent.