Write-a-Letter Wednesday, My Future Children

~~~I'm hoping to make this a regular thing: write a letter every Wednesday to a family member, friend, God, or anyone else who has impacted me that week. ~~~



Dear Future Children,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. When will you come? What will you look like? Do we have enough money saved? And have your daddy and I learned enough about love to be gentle, patient, kind parents in the near future?


I worry, little ones, about whether I've killed enough of myself to be a godly mother. Or, will the pressures and stress of everyday life warp the progress I've made? I see so many examples of out-of-control children fighting with their stressed-out, end-of-their-rope parents, and I don't want to be the angry mom at Walmart. Plus, I work with kids who have disorders and whose parents are overworked and underprepared to deal with it, and I'm sure they have asked themselves whether they made a mistake have children when they did. I don't blame them. Some of my students are difficult for me to love, even with the Holy Spirit helping me.

And I have a confession: I'm always glad to go home to a quiet house at the end of the day. I love my naps and reading time. I enjoy writing on my blog. I like that the floors and windows stay clean for awhile after I wash them, instead of being covered with toys or fingerprints within a few minutes. Am I still too selfish to have my habits changed so drastically once you come into my life?

But I know God has big plans for you and me. I'm so excited about teaching you--science and math and language. I want to answer all of your questions! I'm ready to kiss you and smile with you and tell people "thank you" when they compliment your curly, strawberry-blond hair. (It seems your geneology makes that inevitable. You're in for some big feet, too. Sorry.) And I will be so priviledge to help you navigate the stumbling blocks on this earth, ultimately to arrive at the Truth in life. Yes, I know there are plenty of beautiful moments ahead.
---

Little ones, some of you may join our family in unexpected ways--as God has been planting ideas about fostering and adopting in my head. I know He has equipped me to handle many chaotic, unconventional scenarios, and I've promised Him to use my emotional and psychological resources if he will provide the physical means to care for our group. And, since He never lets us down when me make a bargain like that, I can't wait to see who He brings into our lives.

Also, I'm so happy that God has given you a wonderful father, who loves me and will love you unconditionally forever and ever. You can trust him with everything, and when you climb on his lap, you will better understand the peace and comfort of your Heavenly Father's arms, too. What else could we ask for in a family?

But my prayer is that I'll find a way to let go of the "me" I am today, in order to be completely sold-out for you and Daddy--without whining about the way things "used to be." I'll never really mean it if I try to say that life was "better" before you came. Sometimes my mouth gets loose and does damage before my heart gets it under control again.

And my prayer for you is that you'll understand just how much thought and preparation has gone into your arrival, and how excited I am for you already. With all this thinking, lesson-learning, and hopeful expecting, I know deep down I'm just about ready, and I won't miss the naps and the clean windows too much. Plus, since love is evident in the things we do--and it isn't determined by insignificant things like having not met yet--I can say for sure that I love you already.

Waiting to hold you,
Your Mommy